


of ashes and emeralds

by we_have_cake



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Gay, M/M, One Shot, but it can be happy if u want, park Seonghwa is sad, small angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 16:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18101819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_have_cake/pseuds/we_have_cake
Summary: “You can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending it’s him you know.”Maybe he could though. It seemed a lot easier.Hongjoong just wanted to feel alive again.





	of ashes and emeralds

     “You can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending it’s him you know.”

 

     Maybe he could though. It seemed a lot easier.

     Hongjoong just wanted to feel alive again. 

 

     “Seonghwa-“

     “No Hongjoong. You won’t do this to me again.”

 

     He could hear the pain in his voice, tearing from the inside out. Why was love so hard?

 

     “They’re strangers. They’re people you meet at three am, they’re people you don’t give a damn about, they’re strangers Hongjoong,” Seonghwa said, “They don’t know you, and I know it breaks you but they don’t _care_ , I see it Hongjoong and don’t think i don’t. All they want is a good fuck, all they want is someone who will get caught up and sleep with them, they aren’t him and you’re worth a hell of a lot fucking more than you think you do, and you can fuck yourself over if you want but I’m tired of sitting back and watching it happen, you dragging strangers to my fucking house and fucking them on my couch when you know damn good and well I’m in love with you, I’m done with it, I’m done dealing with your sorry ass.They aren’t him. And I’m not either,” 

 

 

     That, that was the thing that made it more sad than everything else. Seonghwa wasn’t him, no matter how much he wanted to be.

     And now he was crying, because of him.

 

     “Get out Hongjoong. And please, if you care about me, don’t come back.”

 

     It wasn’t angry, and that made him break. He wanted Seonghwa to be angry, he wanted him to yell, to be mad because he deserved it.

 

     But instead he just left.

 

     Onto the train, down the the corner, into the subway and sitting on the ledge he would sit on and threaten to push Yunho off of, legs dangling down.

 

     He’s crying. It isn’t like him, but only so much pain can be kept inside, Seonghwa dragged some out of him.

 

     He sits there for hours before he feels someone next to him, and doesn’t look up. It’s probably Seonghwa, telling him he’s sorry for being a good person, at least that’s how it sounds to Hongjoong

 

     But it’s not. Because when they tap him on the shoulder, he looks up and it’s those same brown eyes, that same shaggy hair, and those same tears he would wipe away.

 

     “Yunho.”

     “Hongjoong.”

 

     It didn’t feel right.

     The name on his lips after months.

 

      The feel of his soft hair, Hongjoong didn’t notice but now his hands were running through Yunho’s hair, and it felt the same as always, Hongjoong could never forget that, that’s one thing that he would remember til the day he died.

 

     And Yunho was wiping away his tears, skin soft like everything else about him, and he just wanted to kiss him, for the first time in forever, he wanted those lips on his, he wanted his love back. He didn’t want to keep pretending.

 

     But it was too late. Or too early.

 

     So when Yunho leaned in closer,

     Hongjoong, turned away, finger placed carefully on the entrance to heaven.

 

     Using all his self restraint.

 

     “It’s too early.”

 

And it hopefully wasn’t too late


End file.
